B-Boy Limping


Testifayein’
October 27, 2012, 11:46 pm
Filed under: Husband hunting, Music, New York | Tags: ,

To be honest, I just wanted to use the headline.

(The Weeknd @ Terminal 5, 10/25/2012)



Childish Gambino at Central Park Summerstage

Gambino ’bout to kick it:

Gambino got some gunssss:

Gambino gettin’ away:

Gambino havin’ funnnn:

Look! I wrote a rap. From now on call me “Vizual Hunter” (actual Wu-Tang generator name).

(Also yeah, I would hit that.)

[6/25]



Husband Hunting: The Professional Bullriding Tournament, Day 2

At Madison Square Garden this weekend.

Guys, look at all the cowboys!  And such gentlemen.  Not one minute after we walked in, two lads in tight jeans offered to get us drinks from the open bar.

But they made it too easy.  I need a chase. First I had my eye on this vision in blue:

But he was way more into his beer than me.

Then this stud caught my eye:

But I think he was with the lady next to him (or dude behind him). Either way, he was taken.

This guy was too all about business:

And this dude just wanted to joust:


This guy’s built Ford tough (and you need to be, to put up with me, amirite fellas?), so he could totally work…

But. You guys. I think above all I need someone that can make me laugh. Someone that doesn’t take himself too seriously.

Someone that can dance:

And can help me with my makeup:

Maybe I found him?



Husband Hunting: Hurricane Irene Edition
August 28, 2011, 6:50 pm
Filed under: Hello boysssss, Husband hunting, Nature!, New York

Some folks think a hurricane is the perfect time to find a hurricane boyfriend, but I need more than someone to make out with when I’m stuck in my borough. I need someone to protect me from falling tree branches:

Or provide for me when all the bread is gone from the grocery store:

YOU GUYS I NEED M’ BREAD FOR M’ SAMMIES AND M’ FRENCH TOAST.

I need a Hurricane Husband.

So, today I went out looking for one in Astoria Park. And I found some good candidates!

I like this guy ’cause he’s a daredevil. But he’s too much of a loner.

This guy has a sweet ride. Which he’s using to get away from me.

The one in the red is hot, but he’s always with his bros.

Never mind, because I think I found my winner:

Because, duh. He has his own boat.



Husband Hunting, pt. 3
August 10, 2011, 4:57 pm
Filed under: Hello boysssss, Husband hunting, Music, New York, Weird Science | Tags:

At the Horrors show at Webster Hall last night, which coincided with the release of their latest Skying.

First I went for the lead singer, because, duh:

But he was so moody, ya know?

So then I looked to the  drummer, because they’re very good with rhythm,  and that is appealing.

But I couldn’t  get behind the hat.

So then I thought, maybe the bass player?

Nah…  I think I’d rather just borrow his wardrobe.

But wait, how could I miss this dude? And his hair!

Such pretty hair. I think I’d be into it more than him.

So then my eyes wandered off the stage, over to Justine, behind Justine, to Nick Zinner of the YYYs…

But he seemed a little shy. I mean, can you even tell it’s him?

Back on track, I decided I needed someone that took some pride in their appearance. Someone who could easily pass for an accountant if need be, and fool my parents.

Someone preferably who could play the tambourine.

Guys, maybe I found him?



Husband Hunting: The Phagwah Parade
March 23, 2011, 8:52 am
Filed under: Hello boysssss, Husband hunting, New York

This weekend was the Phagwah or Holi parade in Richmond Hill, Queens. It was also a tremendous opportunity. What better place to find myself a West Indian husband (as my mother has threatened to find for me many many times. Because it would make me happy, damnit!)?

But guys, there was a problem.  The choices were a little slim!

First up were these boys. They look good and know how to keep rhythm (a plus), but I dunno, you know what they say about drummers…

Then there was pair. I’ve always been a Hanuman fan (mostly because I like monkeys) …

But there was something about Krishna that was appealing. Unfortunately he’s a little too “Avatar” for me (Ugh, that movie ruins everything).


Whatcha thinking about Krishna?

This one’s too young:

And this one’s too old:

This one’s too into his makeup and jewelry. Plus he already has a whole entourage of ladies:

And mom would definitely not approve of these two:

But wait! Who’s this vision?

This guy has everything a West Indian girl could want. Note 1) The cup of hard alcohol just a little after noon:

2) The huge Om necklace. He must be really religious! And

3) The wedding ring. Oh.

Oops.

And he coulda been the one, too. Sorry mom! We’ll get ’em next time, promise.



Husband hunting, pt. 2
March 14, 2011, 11:06 am
Filed under: Hello boysssss, Husband hunting, oy oy oy, Theater | Tags:

So, as I’m sure my mother’s told all of you, I’m in the market for a husband. She thinks he should be mature and have a good job and all that, but I just want him to have a good appetite. Because I love to cook! If you know me, you know that’s definitely true.

So guys, it was amazing when I saw these for sale in my local tuck shop. How serendipitous!

They are delicious and raspberry. For sure, no man could resist. And of course, he would love me for giving it to him.

So I put on my pearls and laid it out, and sure enough, it attracted someone…

…a MAN someone…

But then he ate it and it was gone. And before I knew it, so was he.

Sorry mom! Maybe next time I’ll put a sedative in it. That should work, right?