[Queens of the Stone Age, Terminal 5, 3/25/2011]
This weekend was the Phagwah or Holi parade in Richmond Hill, Queens. It was also a tremendous opportunity. What better place to find myself a West Indian husband (as my mother has threatened to find for me many many times. Because it would make me happy, damnit!)?
But guys, there was a problem. The choices were a little slim!
First up were these boys. They look good and know how to keep rhythm (a plus), but I dunno, you know what they say about drummers…
Then there was pair. I’ve always been a Hanuman fan (mostly because I like monkeys) …
But there was something about Krishna that was appealing. Unfortunately he’s a little too “Avatar” for me (Ugh, that movie ruins everything).
Whatcha thinking about Krishna?
This one’s too young:
And this one’s too old:
This one’s too into his makeup and jewelry. Plus he already has a whole entourage of ladies:
And mom would definitely not approve of these two:
But wait! Who’s this vision?
This guy has everything a West Indian girl could want. Note 1) The cup of hard alcohol just a little after noon:
2) The huge Om necklace. He must be really religious! And
3) The wedding ring. Oh.
And he coulda been the one, too. Sorry mom! We’ll get ’em next time, promise.
Filed under: Music, New York | Tags: joe's pub, pleasant experiences, real gs move in silence like lasagna
As you can see from my face, I am very serious about it. You have to be to win a Grammy.
Just kidding! I’m still silly. Here I am imitating a bird (I think) like the title of my album that came out today, Rare Bird Alert. I got the name from a movie I just shot with Jack Black and Owen Wilson about competitive bird-watching. It comes out in October. Go see it!
Here I am playing the banjo, in case you guys didn’t believe I could play…
And here is the iPad that I keep my setlist on. (I am very high tech.)
Here is my band The Steep Canyon Rangers…
…And here I am making them sing a gospel song for atheists.
You can catch us Wednesday 3/16 on the Late Show with David Letterman. We already taped it and I’ve already re-watched the best parts.
Which was all of it, duh.
Filed under: Hello boysssss, Husband hunting, oy oy oy, Theater | Tags: grosssss food
So, as I’m sure my mother’s told all of you, I’m in the market for a husband. She thinks he should be mature and have a good job and all that, but I just want him to have a good appetite. Because I love to cook! If you know me, you know that’s definitely true.
So guys, it was amazing when I saw these for sale in my local tuck shop. How serendipitous!
They are delicious and raspberry. For sure, no man could resist. And of course, he would love me for giving it to him.
So I put on my pearls and laid it out, and sure enough, it attracted someone…
…a MAN someone…
But then he ate it and it was gone. And before I knew it, so was he.
Sorry mom! Maybe next time I’ll put a sedative in it. That should work, right?