…today at the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade.
I mean, I guess it was sort of my fault? He was shy at first, and woulda just floated on by, but I had to say something.
“Hi Spider-Man, what’s up. I’m B-Boy.”
“Oh, hey gurl. That’s a cool name.”
Awesome. Spider-Man and I were totally gonna make out. But then, guys, he creeps up a little more, and:
BAM! Ass in my face. For like, a minute.
“Like what you see gurl?”
I didn’t know what to do, so I closed my eyes.
And when I opened them again, he was gone.
P.S. The building on the left is The Dakota. John Lennon fans know what I’m sayin’.
Filed under: Hey Ladieesss!, New York | Tags: just kidding- he actually looks content
Specifically Lord of the Flies, with this bad boy…
Pointing out beautiful, beautiful fat.
“I’ma count to three and then I’ma jump out and yell SURPRISSSEEE!”
“I dunno, man, doesn’t he look sad to you?”
… at his play, Neil LaBute’s The Break of Noon. And they fangirled the fuck out.
First they got a playbill signed…
Then they did this:
Two things I love:
1) That for some reason Jen’s clutching her Cleopatra book, ready to break it open if there’s a reading emergency, and
2) How appalled the woman on the left looks. She is clearly not a X-Files/Californication/sex addict fan.
C’mon lady, he went to rehab!
… and all I wanted was for him to sign “I got 99 Problems but B-Boy ain’t one” in my copy of Decoded, but he did this instead:
This is his favorite joke.
…at the W Hotel. It was a private function of sorts, and I’m pretty sure a lot of the folks there had no idea who he was (we actually overheard someone explaining it to her date. “He’s this rapper, now he’s more R&B/soul ……..”)
But it was fine, whatever, the old white men were the reason it was happening. With free alcohol. Cee Lo played his album The Lady Killer and even though most people had only heard “Fuck You” (Or “Fox News” if you saw the Colbert segment), feet were shuffling. Heads were bopping. One old white man had his hands covering his ears but he kept moving towards the stage. (How does that work?) Because of this:
“We’re gonna have a good time tonight!”
“With my awesome lady band!”
“But first I gotta take my glasses off so I can get a good look at ya.”
“Yeaaaahhhh. That’s good.”
“I dunno C, are you really a lady killer?”
“Okay, let’s go!”
Filed under: 'Stache, Nature!, New York | Tags: yes this is what i did today
And he’s right. But it’s a dangerous world out there! If it were up to me I’d keep him on a leash, within sight at all times.
But sometimes you have to let go.
So we took a trip to Coney Island, where New ‘Stache had been before, just not in the daytime.
We stumbled upon the end of a swim by the Coney Island Polar Bear Club, where N’S became friendly with a particularly hairy bear:
And we checked out the remnants of Shoot the Freak (RIP):
We met this guy, who didn’t speak English, but is possibly left over from Saturday’s “Save Ruby’s” Rally (they’ve been ordered out by developers):
And then we relaxed on the beach, where New ‘Stache meditated by the water…
…and worked on his tan.
New ‘Stache was a little sad, though, because the Coney Island we love is being forced out by the same dudes that brought us the sprawling and magical (NOTTTT) Luna Park. So before we left we signed a petition to renew Ruby’s lease.
You should do that too! And until next time…