B-Boy Limping

wanna see a happy puppy?
July 29, 2009, 11:31 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags:

One day on a trip to the park with Princess Peaches, we walked past the swings and  heard children squealing with glee. Peaches took note of the squeals: her ears perked up and her tail started wagging that vigorous wag that wriggles the whole back side of her body. “Rowr rowr rowr?” she asked. “Can I get on?”

“Rowr rowrrrrr rowr row,” I answered, nodding my head.

Although I had my doubts that this was a good idea, I unhooked her leash, took off her diamond-studded tiara, and put her in. And that, my friends is what you see here.

THIS is the face of a happy puppy.

(Oh, and I have no idea who that guy is.)

Dan and Julia get hitched
July 29, 2009, 5:55 am
Filed under: 'Stache, New York | Tags:

As many of you know, I went to Dan and Julia’s wedding at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden last weekend. And as many of you requested, here are some pictures. There are only a few because I was like, in it and then I wanted to like, enjoy it, but I think I picked out the most important ones:


The little room they put them in after the ceremony, before they greeted their guests. Geez, what’s up with that girl in the mirror?

Walking out to their first dance. Dan is saying “Are you da man? No sucka, I’M da man.”

Laughing at something best man John (one of three) said in his toast.

The ‘stache made an appearance.

(In fact, it was formally invited.)


“Hey Julia.”
“Hey Dan.”
“Guess what?”
“Chicken butt!”
(this actually happened)

My Queens ice cream adventure

You know, friends are awesome for like, company and support and shit. But friends are even more awesome when they invite you out for free dessert, like Jori “Best Photog Alive” Jacobs did last weekend when she let me tag along on an assignment to shoot unconventional ice cream in Queens.

We first stopped to taste the result of some  molecular gastronomy at Max and Mina’s in Flushing, where we tried (kosher) horseradish and grass flavors.


Apparently Rosie O’Donnell and Kevin James love this place. And when Izaac Mizrahi tried their vanilla ice cream with strawberries and balsamic vinegar he exclaimed “…Oh my God that’s the most delicious thing I ever tasted in my life. That is a miracle of taste that is so unbelievable!!!” And I believe it too. I mean, it’s not that Isaac is prone to exaggeration or anything.


This is where real men get their hairs cut. And sell their unwanted gold. (In case you can’t read it, the script says “Who’s the man?”)


The next stop was El Palacio de los Cholados at 83-18 Northern Blvd, where we also ran into the 9th Annual Columbia Parade. This LGBT float was awesome.


A cholado is kind of like a souped-up snow cone, with the shaved ice drizzled with cream and topped with fruit. It’s so intense, it comes with both a straw and a spoon. This was the only one of the three that we ate all of. Rather quickly, too.


The third stop was Engeline’s in Woodside, where we had halo-halo with a scoop of mango ice-cream. Halo-halo is a Filipino dessert that combines beans and shaved ice and fruit (oh my!) and really, the only reason we didn’t finish this one is because we were full.

(This is the face of a happy Jori.)

John Oliver at Comix, 7/26/09
July 27, 2009, 6:04 am
Filed under: Comedy | Tags: , , ,


John Oliver is surprisingly high-energy as a stand-up comedian. My favorite part of his set last night at Comix was when, to illustrate a point about the useless crap we have stored in our brains, he sang a portion of R.Kelly’s  “Ignition Remix.” If you have a Brit lying around, get them to sing “So baby gimme dat “toot toot,

…And lemme gi’ ya dat “beep beep…”

Trust me, it’s worth it.

Oh, and contrary to [somewhat? one person’s?] popular belief, Oliver is not the voice of the GEICO gecko. That honor currently goes to a British comedian named Jake Wood. But did you guys know that Kelsey Grammar has also voiced the gecko?

Hey, don’t fight it. You learned something today.

Check out Oliver in his regular gig on the Daily Show, and in the upcoming Joel McHale/Chevy Chase NBC sitcom, Community.

Happy Wedding Day Julia and Dan!
July 25, 2009, 10:29 am
Filed under: 'Stache, New York | Tags:

Let’s do a photo shoot.


Cute. Okay, now look at the camera.


No, not that way, over here.


Please? Camera? What are you guys looking at?

Oh. Yeah, that’s pretty awesome.


Seriously Dan? You’d rather smell her armpit than look over here?

Fine. Whatever. Congratulations, you crazy kids. I love you guys.

The handclapping was phenomenal

Joe’s Pub, Tuesday 7/21/09.

I happen to know a few things about the two underground club DJs-turned-main-guys in Brooklyn’s Phenomenal Handclap Band. I know that Sean “Medicine Man” Marquand’s favorite muppet is Forgetful Jones and Daniel “Witch Doctor” Collás’s favorite Sesame Street character is Grover.   Collás loves The Food Network and once ate at Li’l Frankie’s every day for two weeks while Marquand wanted to be a scientist when he was younger and never steps on cracks in the sidewalk.   Fascinating, right? And I can go on (and on and on). But while I can spout off facts about these two and their hand-picked indie supergroup for some reason until this week I had never seen them live.

Enter Joe’s Pub, for a packed NPR-sponsored Soundcheck event. One thing I learned about NPR audiences: they love their beer. I know this because the venue ran out of beer glasses shortly into the night. And I know this because I neglected to make a table reservation and spent the evening crammed up against the bar in the back listening to the bartenders.

But that aside, the show was dance-tastic.  PHCB’s throwback disco-funky energy was so intense that it seemed that there were even more people on stage, if that were possible. And I took some pictures, which we’re going to play a fun game with.

Here we go.

One of these musicians in the Phenomenal Handclap Band is not like the others. Can you spot him?


I’ll help.


A close-up (The “Casual Accountant?”):


The rest of the band:


Awww, I’m just kidding accountant  (although, nice necklace?), just saying that maybe you wanna consult with your band members on your collective look. Especially when there’s seven other people on stage that looks like they all got the memo. And most especially when there are assholes like me around.

Check out the self-titled debut album of the PHCB, out now on Friendly Fire.  And see them free today at 3pm at the Diesel store on 5th Ave and 54th St.


Scenes from Siren Fest

Coney Island. Saturday, July 18th.










Someone get me this book
July 17, 2009, 6:27 am
Filed under: Reading is fun | Tags: , , ,

Don’t get too jealous, but yesterday I was in the same room as/became best friends with Duff, Mary Alice, and Geoff of the Food Network’s Ace of Cakes. First thought: THIS IS AWESOME I AM IN HEAVEN. Second thought: Wow, they’re tiny. Third thought: Okay, where’s the cake.

Where’s the cake, you ask? Oh, here it is:



The event was a NYPL-hosted book launch party for the young adult novel ghostgirl with author Tonya Hurley reading to music by Vince Clarke.

Yeah, that’s right. Mother-effin’ Depeche Mode/Erasure/Yaz VINCE CLARKE.

But sadly, I missed the reading. I did see the Q&A, though. Here’s a pic:


(Contrary to what is pictured there were actual kids at the event and they all seemed really psyched about the book. Incredible cake, Brit electro-pop star or no, that’s the only recommendation that counts in these cases.)

Here’s the Ace of Cakes crew with Tonya:


And here is a partial pic of Jen being fascinated by the many things you can do with fondant. The cake, btw, was delicious.


This little piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.

[Food Network: Ace of Cakes]
[Charm City Cakes]

michael and michael (and i) have issues

I had some problems at the Michael and Michael Have Issues party extravaganza at the Bell House last night. I won’t go into too much detail here, but let’s just say that due to a tiny mixup I had fewer tickets waiting for me than I thought I would, which meant that my roomie Kim couldn’t get into the show. Which meant I wasn’t going to the show.

But actually, it wasn’t a big deal. In fact, thanks to the setup of the Bell House, it was better. We spread out on leather couches in the back bar, and watched a projection of the stage show on a screen. We ate DUB pies- lots of them, and we rubbed elbows with Eugene Mirman, Kumail Nanjiani, Jesse Klein, Hannibal Buress, and some other fancy looking people who we assumed were producers of/worked on the show. Okay, we didn’t so much rub elbows as sit/stand right next to them, silently acknowledging their existence. But I’m looking at you, Mirman. Next time it’s on.

I ran in to the venue for a second and took some terrible shots, a couple of which are below. People in there seemed to be having a good time. But they didn’t have any DUB pies, so they probably didn’t know what they were missing.

And we’re not going to tell them.


Kim and the DUBs, projection screen in the background.



[M & M’s 21 Questions]
[Michael and Michael Have Issues]
[The Bell House]
[DUB Pies]

Last night I hung out with some Rejects
July 15, 2009, 5:59 am
Filed under: Music, New York | Tags: , , , ,

So yesterday I get this email from Erin asking me if I want to accompany her to an “intimate dinner with the All-American Rejects” (these were the words on the Evite, not hers), to be held at The Gates, and to feature food from the Gates’s new menu, courtesy of Chef Jesi Solomon (The Stanton Social; The Hotel On Rivington).

Now, when this email reached me I was deep in my usual state of being: hungry, so all I read was blah-blah-blah All-American Rejects, blah-blah-blah [free and fancy] DINNER. So I replied, “um, YES,” to Erin and what you see below, my friends, are a few pics from the night. I apologize for not having pics of the food. This happened because by the time I thought to take any, the food was in my tummy and the plates were empty. I will say that I enjoyed all of it, especially the steak skewers and the little sandwiches with the walnuts. Erin especially enjoyed the popcorn shrimp. We thank you kindly, Chef Jesi Solomon.


I should address the fact the invitation said “hang out” with the All-American Rejects. They did not actually perform. Instead we got a highly energetic show from this little pink-haired lady whose name escapes me (Erin? Do you remember?). So I guess the point of her performance was lost on me. And in case you were wondering, that is Erin’s head in the bottom of the pic on the left. The pink lady was standing on one of the stools next to us.


This is the pink lady with the Rejects in the background. I mean, it’s weird the band didn’t perform, right? Not that they need anything to promote besides their Today Show appearance on Friday, but I find it odd that they were basically there as pretty accessories to lure people in. Oh well, whatever. I guess there ain’t nothing wrong with eye candy, am I right ladies?

And here’s some now…


Erin and Tyson Ritter.


Empty plates.

[ NYmag’s listing for the Gates]
[The All-American Rejects]