B-Boy Limping

Who would win in a fight?
May 14, 2009, 9:51 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , ,

Round one: tough puppies.


Ninja puppy silently judges you to death. Also, he is a ninja and has mad skills.


After giving them a coy over-the-shoulder look, Pirate puppy questions his opponents on synonyms for “pirate’s treasure.” When they say “booty” he barks “And that’s just what I’m gonna kick!”


Batman puppy is tired. “Am I Bruce Wayne? Am I Batman? A puppy? Oy, I give up, you win, yada yada. I’m just gonna take a nap.”


Darth Vader puppy is the Dark Lord of the Sith and all but for the winner of this round I’m gonna go with …


Scrappy-Doo. This kid’s been blamed for the downfall of his uncle’s show, so he’s got something to prove. Plus, he’s got a catchphrase. And crazy-eyes. Do yourself a favor and stay out of his way.

Runner-up: Ninja puppy. For his mad skills.

Feel free to disagree with me.


Somebody please buy me the Punk Rock Fun Time Activity Book
May 14, 2009, 1:31 pm
Filed under: Music | Tags: , ,


I want to color Iggy Pop. Using my own blood.

There’s punk rock mad libs too. Fun!

[ECW Press]

Three notes on my fridge
May 14, 2009, 10:57 am
Filed under: New York | Tags: ,

Roommate 1: Why are there pants in the freezer?

Roommate 2: I’m trying to freeze some gum off of them.

Roommate 3: Oh, they look like mine. I thought I got drunk and put them in there.

(A re-blog but still makes me laugh… Plus, pretty sure nobody read it the first time around.)

A match made in…
May 13, 2009, 10:39 am
Filed under: Music | Tags: , , , ,

Got a press release a couple days ago that told me that


It’s old news now but forgive me, I gotta write this out.

It’s to promote his new album Relapse and apparently Eminem is going to host the evening on Fox by appearing as his animated self in some interstitials. After which he’s going to make an announcement about doing something with Myspace Music.

Okay. Can anybody tell me what is up with Eminem’s comeback strategy? He’s starting inconsequential beefs (Nick Cannon), rapping about inconsequential people (Kim Kardashian, Sarah Palin, etc.), and is generally behaving like he thinks it’s still 2005. When he finally does make a topical reference in the new album, he’s making fun of Heath Ledger’s overdose (Lyrics: “I’ll do it, pop it, gobble it, and start bobblin’ / Stumble, hobble, tumble, slipped, fell in bed / with a bottle of meds / and a Heath Ledger bobblehead”).

And now there’s this. Guys, I haven’t told you the most baffling part yet, the quotes:


“It was a thrill to work with Stewie,” said Eminem about the youngest member of the Griffin clan. “I’m a big fan of talking babies and their humor.”

On working with Eminem, Stewie said “I was just about to meet him, but after I shook hands with his stylist, his assistant, his lawyer, his bodyguard, his other bodyguard, his photographer, his manager, his hanger-on, his flower girl, his driver, his videographer, his notary, his historian, his her-storian, his texter and his own greased-up deaf guy, I got the swine flu.”

We can glean two things from this:

1) Eminem must really love Look Who’s Talking, and…

Okay, one thing.

But actually, Em may have gotten it right this time, teaming up with someone else who references outdated topics. Don’t get me wrong, I love Family Guy and all, but a swine flu dig?


I’m not saying R. Kelly and I could be friends…

..but I am saying that I could hang in his house if he were off trapped in a closet somewhere.

Especially if he has other items similar to this classy leather-trimmed Looney Tunes bar, which for some insaaaane reason he’s selling on Craigslist:


Somebody buy this.

But-BUT!- before you take it home, remember to make sure it doesn’t smell like pee.


Wainy Days Live recap

At the request of numerous fans (okay, one fan), here’s a cursory and extremely biased recap of the Wainy Days Live event at the 92Y Tribeca last Thursday. Now, keep in mind that I am a highly unreliable source because 1) I may have had a couple glasses of wine before the event, 2) I didn’t take notes, and 3) I lie.

With that in mind, I’ll start with Paul Rudd, the “special guest” who is not only a big movie star but such a beautiful beautiful human specimen that women—married and single alike—showed up hoping he’d get naked on stage for them, or secretly wished that at least if they could just get in the same room with him, they’d make eye-contact him, and he would fall in love and immediately leave his wife for them. But I have news guys, he didn’t get naked ONCE, and at the end of the night, he was still married, as far as I know.


[Side note about Paul Rudd. Is anyone else still weirded out by the incest overtones in Clueless? I mean, I know she was his stepsister and all but that still taints everything I see him in…]

Beauty aside, Rudd displayed skills. He sang, acted in skits, and participated in a non-interview with Wain where he was given a Streamy Award, threw it on the floor, and answered questions about whether it was fun on the Apatow set and if the cast of Friends were really friends. (The answer to both: yes.) They then played a clip and did commentary on something recent Rudd had been in, which was the first half of the interview where he was given a Streamy Award, threw it on the floor, and answered questions about whether it was fun on the Apatow set and…



Okay, so Rudd is hot but you know who else is seriously attractive? Michael Ian Black. Sure, the roomie put it best when she said “I used to think he was gay,” but there’s an effortless sexiness to this guy, and it’s a bit effeminate, yes, but I dig that, and also his ability to play up sexuality in all its forms. It’s not an easy mode for comedians, especially comedians who shamelessly do skits about a side of “extra farts,” which is what MIB and Michael Showalter (with David Wain guesting) did in a restaurant skit which they claimed was cut from the upcoming show Michael and Michael have Issues, premiering this July on Comedy Central. Watch it. And in case you don’t get the point of this post, watch Wainy Days on My Damn Channel.


Okay, this is getting long but that’s about all I remember anyway, plus I just poured myself some Mike’s Hard Mango Punch, so this is gonna go downhill from here. There were a few more skits worth mentioning: a Mad Libs skit with Wain, Showalter, and MIB where all the fill-in-the blanks worked perfectly, a re-enactment of the Wainy Days sketch Cyrano d’Bluetooth with Joe Lo Truglio playing Wain’s part, and an original sketch that Wain supposedly wrote when he was 12 and was amazingly prescient b/c there was a part about him using an iPhone to take a photograph on the fly.

The whole night went above and beyond expectations and made me want to watch Wet Hot American Summer again. So, later guys, I’m gonna do that right now.

With my Mike’s Hard Mango Punch.

Which I have already started drinking.

[More 92Y Pics]

[David Wain 21Qs]

Aziz is Raaaandy
May 10, 2009, 8:38 am
Filed under: Comedy, New York | Tags: , , , ,

In case you missed it, Aziz Ansari killed on Kimmel last week:

He talks about Slumdog Millionaire, his cousins Darwish and Harris (who I think I could be best friends with) and his role as Raaaandy in the upcoming Judd Apatow film Funny People. This is Aziz doing Raaaandy earlier this year at Comix:

Raaaandy is repulsive, yet I’m strangely attracted to him…

“If y’all are ready to laugh your dicks off, lemme hear you say yeeeeeeah!”