Fred Armisen and the adorable Carrie Brownstein, doing what they do:

Guest performer Kyle MacLachlan:

And Annie Clark (St. Vincent) covering Pearl Jam’s “Black”:

God I want her shirt.

Should I go with a t-shirt?

Or a mug for m’ cubicle? There’s a surprise spot a the bottom for when I finish m’ tea:

Never mind you guys, I think I found it:

Just what every b-boy needs. Cuff links! And what a steal for only $28.

At the Gagosian, 1/21/2012.

“Stephanie” (Seymour) a.k.a. “Trophy Wife”, 2003, by Maurizio Cattelan. Commissioned by [husband] Peter Brant, hanging in the Guggenheim as part of the Cattelan retrospective until, oh, tomorrow.

I think they’d have a good time together, don’t you? Poor Stephanie deserves a man who doesn’t put her on display. Literallyyyyyyy

Also, you guys, WE COULD HAVE BOUGHT HER. Next time.

Guys, look at all the cowboys!  And such gentlemen.  Not one minute after we walked in, two lads in tight jeans offered to get us drinks from the open bar.

But they made it too easy.  I need a chase. First I had my eye on this vision in blue:

But he was way more into his beer than me.

Then this stud caught my eye:

But I think he was with the lady next to him (or dude behind him). Either way, he was taken.

This guy was too all about business:

And this dude just wanted to joust:

This guy’s built Ford tough (and you need to be, to put up with me, amirite fellas?), so he could totally work…

But. You guys. I think above all I need someone that can make me laugh. Someone that doesn’t take himself too seriously.

Someone that can dance:

And can help me with my makeup:

Maybe I found him?

1) Jonathan Ames, buying drinks for fans at a wake for his recently-canceled series Bored to Death:

2) Heather Burns (Leah), and Ajay Naidu (Vikram) who, fun fact, are engaged. (Pretty shitty engagement present, HBO.):

3) John Hodgman (follow the blurry ‘stache):

4) and a sea of sad Ames fans who all sort of look the same:

Don’t cry, sea of sad Ames fans who all sort of look the same. Apparently there’s talks of a BTD movie in the future.

Silver lining!

I think my dad would dig these  Mastodon steins because he 1) loves porcelain, 2) is a huge fan of metal, and 3) drinks beer. They’re basically perfect!

My mother, on the other hand, is a candy fiend who dreams of being surrounded by babies (or so it seems like when she’s all like “when are you having babies?” Huh? HUH???), so I think for her these Flaming Lips gummy fetuses will work just fine. They’re edible AND have a USB drive with a new song embedded in the cranium.

I hope she likes them, because these puppies are gonna run me $150. Ouch.

My sister is a little trickier to shop for. However, she’s a gardener who also loves New Wave, so I think this Devo “Energy Dome” hat / upside down flower pot should do the trick.

And my brother-in-law is a piece of cake. He wishes he were a Southern rapper but he also has to go to work in an office every day (borrringggg), so these temporary Gucci Mane face tatts and Brick Squad bandanna are just what he needs for his weekend carousing:

Just like Gucci!

But guys, I deserve a present too. We all know I love smooth crooners, especially Canadian ones, and am all about underwear that looks like it doesn’t breathe. Obviously, these are perfect:

Michael Bublé knows just what a girl wants.

Happy Holidays!

[Marketwire]

Yeah, that seems about right.

[M83 at Webster Hall, 11/22/2011]

“Thanks for the ball!” Oh wait, THAT’S NOT WHAT IT SAYS.

(Sorry. Also, what?)

[Bowlmor, University Place]